“So let me get this right…” Justin stood up from his bed. He looked at Michael with a serious face although he felt the need to laugh his ass of once more at the words Brian had used. ”He thinks…no, he knows for sure, cause he said it out loud, that I am fucking Emmett?” He had to bite his lip. He could almost taste blood. ”Yeah basically," Michael nodded. “But from your reactions I can tell it’s not true.’ ”Oh really, you think?” Justin turned to Emmett who still was silently laughing. ”Don’t laugh at this situation. You are a part of this now.” Justin turned and sat back on his bed. ”I know sweetie, but come on, Brian isn’t thinking straight. He is making all these excuses. And we really have no idea why he is doing this. He is cutting you off with lame accusations.” ”I know that Em. I can feel it, I’m not an idiot.” Justin was hurt. Not by Emmett’s words because they were the truth. It was Brian's actions that caused the hurt. He knew that Brian cared for him. If he was in love him…well, that was another topic. He had time to think. Brian pushed him away, afraid of his own feelings. ”You know what guys? I don't think we will ever understand the great mystery that is Brian Kinney. I can’t be thinking of him right now. I am having a baby. Now I know its Brian’s but he doesn’t have to know that. I am carrying him, I will be the one that has to deal with it. So shhh, ok?” Both men nodded in unison. ---------- Brian wanted to talk to Justin, no, he needed to talk to him. He felt like such a hypocrite and a fool. He knew what he had done to Justin. He had hurt him. He pushed him away because he was afraid Justin would cause him pain. Emotional pain is the worst kind of pain in the world. He knew that much. Another feeling was peeking through, it was a bad one. It felt that way. A feeling you shouldn’t have. He was selfish…He hurt Justin to make himself feel safe. He remembered the promise they made. Best friends forever. He knew he was fooling himself, hell he was fooling Justin at the same time. He hoped he would see Justin at the dinner. He really needed to talk to him. When Michael talked to him about Justin, Brian was worried. He heard it was serious and Justin needed him but how come Justin didn’t come to him then? He went to Emmett. He still couldn’t believe it. Maybe he was just misunderstanding things. They barely talked to each other these days, so he wouldn’t know what really was going on. Brian thought talking wouldn’t hurt too much. He decided to give it a shot. ---------- Justin was in deep conversation with Emmett when Brian walked in. He didn’t even hear the bell above the door. ”So you know I could…” Justin stopped when he saw Emmett’s face change. ”What is it?” Justin asked when he turned around. Right then he saw Brian talking to Deb. It’s been awhile Justin had seen Brian. And he thought Brian looked fucking gorgeous. He had faded jeans on with a black shirt that was tight around his body. Justin began to panic. What would Brian think if he saw his body? His flat belly was a little bit bigger now. He was not fat but he wasn’t so slim anymore. Emmett said he looked like he was glowing that always made him giggle. Justin turned around again so he was facing Emmett once again. ”Shit what do I do now?” Justin asked Emmett with a pleading look. ”Just act normal sweetie, it will be fine just. Don’t panic.” Don’t panic? Yeah right. ”Jus, he is coming our way.” Emmett whispered. ”No no no no no,” Justin thought. ”Hey, guys. “ Brian said carefully. ”Hi Brian, what have you been up to?” Emmett asked. ”Nothing much. Justin, can I talk to you in private?” Brian asked. Justin looked up from his drink and glared towards Emmett. He just nodded as a support to his friend. ”Yeah I guess, let’s just go over there,” Justin said pointing to the empty booth in the corner. When Justin stood up Brian noticed that he was a little bit…bigger. “Can’t stay away from the lemon bars?” Brian asked jokingly. “Are you implying that I am fat?“ Justin cursed himself and his hormones for that question. ”No.” Brian said taken aback. “I just noticed…” Brian didn’t finish his sentence. Justin laughed at Brian sudden change of character. “No, it’s ok. So you wanted to talk.” Justin still felt something good about this. He was angry but even though they weren’t close like they use to be, Justin still felt at ease with Brian. They slipped in the booth on opposite sides of each other. Brian glared over Justin's shoulder at Emmett. ”Justin, are you and Emmett together?” Justin laughed again. That was Brian, always straight to the point. ”No Brian, we are not.” Brian was relieved. He really didn’t like the idea of Justin with Emmett. He just didn’t like the idea of Justin with anyone. ”Jus, a month ago I heard you in school. You were in the toilet at lunch and you were sick and puking.” Justin froze. This was the last thing he expected. ”I kinda overheard some stuff. Justin, is everything alright?” Justin could tell Brian was really concerned. He so badly wanted to tell him he was pregnant. In his mind Brian would tell him he loved him and they would live long and happily ever after. That was of the case. ”Yes, I am fine. I just had a drama moment back then. Everything is fine.” Or will be. He hated to lie to Brian, but he kept telling himself it was for the best. It was the best for his baby. ”Ok, I just wanted to make sure you were fine.” ” I am Brian. I have been fine for 4 months. Although you couldn’t know that cause you forgot I existed. Brian, we made a promise to each other and then you put your walls up. Is it so easy to forget about me? Is it so easy to push me away? I know I played my part in this too. But you were the one who made this to the point it is now. Don’t expect for me to be there for you when you haven’t even seen me in 4 months. You didn’t want to see me. So don’t come back now to put everything in chaos again. My life is good now. I don’t need more drama in it. That will cause me more hurt.” Justin stood up with unshed tears in his eyes. Yet he was so glad he had a chance to say what he felt about the whole situation. It sucked big time but he had to keep himself away from Brian. Brian didn’t know what just happened. He felt scared, scared of Justin. ”Justin, that’s…” Brian began. ”The truth! It’s the truth, Brian. Now if you excuse me, my friend is waiting for me.” Justin turned his heals at Brian and sat back with Emmett. Brian stood up also and made his way to the door. Justin didn’t even look up when he passed his booth. Brian was wrong. Talking could hurt.
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