A Thanksgiving Day with the boys *Justin’s Journal* Hey, it’s been a while, I know, but things have been hectic here to say the least. Brian and I are doing okay. We have our problems, but that is to be expected. I don’t really know what to say, but we’re surviving. My leg has basically healed, thank-god. I still walk with a limp, but they say that more than likely I may have that for the rest of my life. That’s okay; well it has to be okay. Molly came down for the summer, which was good for my mom. It gave her a break from everything. I told her to take a little trip, to heal herself instead of worrying about Molly. From what she had told me, her and dad are getting along. It’s good, I guess. Dad and I are.. well we’re talking. I know that things will never be the way they were with him – there are just too many bad memories, to many things that override the good, I guess. But we’re talking which is more than I EVER expected. Molly.. well what can I say about her. She’s going through the rebellion stage. Big time, rebellion. That’s why I told Mom that I would take her for the summer. Fuck that was the biggest mistake of my life. Molly had been causing problems for Mom, and it wasn’t helping Mom’s healing at all. Dad wasn’t too big of a help, cause frankly Molly was worse with him. I guess I thought that things would be alright for her down here.. that we could handle her.. man was I wrong. Not that Brian had any problem.. no Molly and Brian got along fine.. She was just pure hell for me. We got into so many fights that I almost threw her out of the house one night. She started hanging out with the wrong people, going out, drinking, whatever else. I couldn’t believe it.. she was only 12!!!! I NEVER would’ve thought to do that shit when I was that age. I don’t know how Brian was able to get through to her, but we finally sat down near the end of her visit and hashed things out. We cleared a lot of things up, and I can tell you it was an eye opening experience. She blames me for a lot, and I told her a lot of things that she never knew. I thought she did, but I guess Mom and Dad kept her guarded from a lot of things. We’re closer now, thank god, than we ever have been before. For that alone, I am glad that she came. We talk now, almost every night. Just about things, you know. Work has been a pain as well. It’s never ending. The accounts, the trips, all the damn shit that I used to get pissed at Brian for, well I’m going through it now. Lucky me I guess. He sits back and laughs at me when I go on one of my little tyrants about something. He thinks it’s funny! Of course he hasn’t had it easy either. I mean Vance has been a pain in his side for months about one thing or another. But lucky for us, we have learned that the moment we step in the house.. work is gone. We try to never bring work home.. it’s been a lot easier on our relationship, and on our own peace of mind. Brian and I went back to the Pitts for Gus’ Birthday. We decided that we had to.. not only for Gus but for ourselves as well. I keep telling Brian that it’s our anniversary, and he of course rolls his eyes at me. He keeps telling me that if we had anymore damn anniversaries then we would be having a party every day of the year. Hey, I don’t mind.. But Brian is different. Yeah, he’s changed in the past year or so, but he’s still Brian. He’s a little better on the celebration type things, but in part he still thinks that they are bullshit. I can’t really fault him for that. There is only one anniversary where we shut everything and everyone out, and that’s the one of my Prom. This year we went as far away from civilization as possible and celebrated life. That’s the only way I can really describe it.. we were both just happy to be alive. Not much else is really happening. Marsha is in a relationship. Her partner is a lot of fun. The four of us often just hang out. Rick and Nichole are now married. They got hitched back in September. It was a small wedding, but nice. Kate is still dating this asshole, and Kelly is throwing herself in her work. I don’t know if she has fully gotten over her brother’s death.. well not to the extent of what we would like to see. Her parents have been total assholes to her, still claiming that Nate was not their son. So her family has effectively disowned her, and I think that has almost crushed her. She really needed them after Nate’s death, and she still needs them.. but they are too set in their ways. So Brian and I have sort of adopted her into our family, and we often spend time together. I think we all need that.. at least Kelly and I do. Brian calls us Siamese twins, cause we are never far apart from each other. And Kevin and Mark are finally a real couple. They moved in together in a small apartment downtown. They are both still working hard at the Rainbow House. Now.. let’s see.. oh yeah.. Matt.. God what can I say about him. He’s irritating as hell? He keeps trying to hit on me, and I keep having to tell him that I’m in a relationship and to leave me the hell alone. Of course it bothers Brian more than it bothers me, but I try to stay away from him at all costs. The last thing I need if for Brian to get all possessive on me again. Brian had a slight relapse a couple of months ago.. and to say that I was pissed would be an understatement. I wasn’t sure if he was still turning tricks occasionally, or not. I mean I knew that he was trying; he really is, so I can’t really be too pissed about it. I just don’t know for sure yet why he felt the need.. but I don’t know if I ever really will. I mean he went so long without slipping, and for that alone, I am proud of him. I can’t really say too much about it, since I have found at times myself wanting something a little less... I don’t know.. passionate? No that’s not the right word. I don’t really know how to describe it really, but I have seen a guy at times and told myself ‘man what I wouldn’t do to have a piece of that!’ but I quickly stop myself. Brian.. well Brian has been exceptional. I know that there are times even now after his slip that he feels the slight pull, and I know that it will take time for him to completely stop, and he’s getting a whole lot better as time goes on. So I can’t complain. I know that one day I will be the only one for him. I know it now. So let’s see the present.. Brian invited Mel, Gus, and Lindsey down for Thanksgiving.. so of course the whole gang will be here. Cause of course they mentioned it to Deb, and Deb mentioned it to Emmett, Michael, and Ted.. well you get the idea. Then my Mom and Molly will be here as well. So with the gang from Pittsburgh, and the group here.. I don’t know where we’re going to put everyone! Luckily I guess, Deb, Vic, Lindsey and my mom have all but told me I am NOT going to be allowed in my own damn kitchen that day. Of course I won’t tell them how pleased I am about that one! Shit.. Brian just came home, so I’ll let you go. We have to get ready to pick up the gang from the airport tomorrow morning, so we have to get the house ready for whoever decides to stay here. The rest can stay at the hotel down the way.. Until later, Justin *Justin* Brian walks up behind me as I close my book and set it on the table. His arms go around me, and I can feel his lips on my neck. “Hey,” I say as greeting. “Is that all I get,” he asks, and I answer him by turning around on the couch to kiss him fully on the lips. I pull on him enough to where he climbs over the back of the couch and lays on top of me. If it’s on thing that I will never tire of it’s the feeling of him towering over me, with his lips and hands on me. No.. I will NEVER tire of that. No matter what problems we have, no matter how pissed off at him I get.. I know that he will always love me. I begin to slowly unbutton his shirt, exposing his well-defined chest to my hands. He pulls back a little, and just stares down at me. “You know if we keep this up, we won’t be ready for everyone tomorrow.” I wrap my legs around his body, bringing us closer together, and pull him down for a kiss. “Everything is as ready as it’s going to be,” I tell him as I begin to nibble on his ear. “So why don’t we just enjoy our last day of being alone for the next week?” Brian looked down at me and smiled. “So you think that you’ll get some tonight, do you?” I answer him by pulling him back down fully on top of me. “Fuck me, Brian,” I breathe in his ear. Before I could say anything our lips were locked together, tongues dueling each other for superiority. Granted this is one battle that I don’t care if I lose. I love Brian’s kisses, his touch. He always puts his soul into everything that he does, wanting to be the best that he can be. Sex is no different, and believe me, Brian is most definitely the best. ******* After Brian went to work the next morning, I figured that I might as well get everything around the house set. Mom had told me that their flight would be in around 10 and they would head directly here. I still have no idea who will be staying here at the house, but I’m not sure I really want to worry about it now. The food’s been bought, the tables are downstairs, and everything is ready except for the guests. Fuck, why did I ever let Brian talk me into doing this I will never know? All I really wanted was a nice quiet Thanksgiving with him.. not him and the whole fucking gang. The doorbell rings and I rush down the stairs as fast as I can with this damn limp I still have, and open it. Before I can get anything out of my mouth in the way of greeting, I find the whole horde making their way into the house. Fuck, I am so not ready for this. Thank god I love Brian so much, or else I would most likely be in jail for committing homicide. As each person passes I either receive a kiss, or a tight hug. I wasn’t sure if Deb would ever let go, but thankfully Gus wanted attention and she had to let me go. “Hey Gus,” I say as I pick him up into my arms. I look over at the group of people littered throughout my living room and give them a small smile. “Hey. How was the flight?” Everyone starts talking at once, and I have a hard time to decipher what the hell any of them are saying. And I honestly wanted to work things out with all of them. I must really need to be in a mental institute. I answer all the questions, and everyone starts to go about their things.. whatever that is. I watch Deb, Vic, Mom, and Lindsey all head to the kitchen to see what needed to be done for tomorrow. I know that I will not be allowed anywhere near there for the next day or so. It seemed like forever before Brian came home, and it was not a moment too soon. I mean, it’s not like I’m NOT happy that everyone is here, but damn! I still have been having some issues, things that have never been cleared up, and I’m not sure that they will ever be. But things have been going good with them, and I can tolerate them.. at small intervals! God, I feel like I’m ready to explode – just tell everyone to get the fuck out of my house, and never show their faces here again. It would’ve been a lot better for me if they had only showed up a couple at a time. I had moved to my small office upstairs, not wanting to be subjected to all of that any longer when Brian comes up behind me. He places his arms around my shoulders and kisses me lightly on the cheek. “That bad huh?” “You don’t know the half of it. I was kind of hoping that they would show up a couple at a time.. not all at once, Bri.” I know I shouldn’t be complaining. It’s the holidays, and I should be happy that everyone is here.. but damnit things have been hectic to say the least lately, and I’m not ready to face all of this. Brian turns my chair around and kneels down in front of me. “I’m sorry, baby.” I lean my head against his and run my hands through his hair. “It’s okay. I’m just stressed, and I have a little headache is all. It’ll be okay. I promise.” I know that Brian worries about my health, and me and he’s been trying to make things easier on me. Work these past six months has been hell, and I’ve been working non-stop it seems. Between going on long business trips, and working my ass off at the office, Brian and I hadn’t had much time together. Hence his little slips. He honestly thought that I had been cheating on him, and he resorted to his old method of pain relief. We sat down and talked about things, and I know that he hates it when I’m so busy.. but he does understand. I mean really.. like I would fuck Matt! Please! We can laugh about it now, thankfully. The only thing is.. work is the problem, not us. Brian and I agreed that when we are in this house, or out together.. there will be NO talk of work. When we are together, it’s just the two of us. It’s the only way that we can make this relationship work, and we’re both determined to do that. I can’t tell you what a relief it is for me to not have to have that sort of pressure anymore. I was becoming so stressed out, working my ass off; I actually had another nervous breakdown. Needless to say it freaked Brian out, and changes were made. The doctor told me that I really needed to take it easy for while, less stress. Not that he thought that it was possible, but he said that I needed to take time out of each day to just relax. If not.. he wasn’t sure how my health would suffer. Of course all Brian heard was high blood pressure, ulcers.. you name it he heard only the bad. So we change our lives around. What’s really funny is that I’ve been trying to get Brian to calm down for years, and all it took was the doctor to say one bad thing about what the stress was doing to me to make him change. If I had known that was all it took.. I would’ve done it a long time ago. “Most of the gang headed to the hotel,” he told me running his hand across the back of my neck, while his other hand is lightly tracing the bracelet I still wear. “Hungry?” I look at Brian like he’s lost his mind. “Like I would be allowed in my kitchen. I think that Deb and the others have confiscated everything. I’m not even allowed to look in that direction.” Brian stands and takes my hand in his own. “Well, we’ll just have to go out to dinner or something.” Have I mentioned lately how much I love this man? *********** *Brian* Thanksfuckinggiving. How totally fucking pathetic! I can’t believe that I honestly thought that this would be a good idea. Here I am in my own home, and it seems like world war three has just hit. What used to be a nice quiet place where I could relax has turned into a fucking diner. Chairs and tables littered the space, despite my suggestion that we could very well eat outside. But NOOOO, Thanksgiving dinner needs to be eaten inside. Fuck! I’m half tempted to follow Justin’s example and head upstairs to our office. Luckily I guess for Justin anyway, Gus looked tired and needed to go down for a nap before this whole mess started. So what the hell does Justin do? He fucking takes Gus and disappears, leaving ME to deal with all this shit. Oh he’ll make up for this tonight, I can tell you that much. He’s going to owe me big time. “I hope you guys are planning on cleaning all this shit up,” I ask Deb, looking over what used to be a kitchen. Pots, pans, dishes, fuck everything was spread out over all available space. All of our friends here each brought a small dish, so of course Deb had to make room for it on one of the counters. When the kitchen was too full for anything else, they started in on any counter space elsewhere in the house. I can feel a migraine coming on and all I want to do is get this day over with. Deb. As much as I love her, and I do, she always seems to think that you have to have enough food to feed an army. I’ll be having leftovers for the next fucking year at the rate they are cooking. “Of course we will sweetie.. don’t worry about a thing. Now get out of the kitchen and go help Michael get the tables ready. Dinner should be ready in a hour.” I have to bite my tongue from coming back with some sort of smartass reply. I’m being told what to do in my own house. Justin is the only one who can get away with that, and he doesn’t all that often, thank you very much. Fuck! Now why did I think this was such a good idea? Instead of going to help Michael I head outside to grab a quick cigarette. I see Kelly sitting down on one of the chairs outside having a smoke herself, and I move to sit by her. “It’s a fucking zoo in there. Remind me next year that if you plan on doing this again, to not come,” she said with a smile. “If I think of doing this next year, I won’t come either,” I reply pulling out one from the pack and lighting it. I take a deep breath and exhale slowly, feeling the smoke fill my lungs, calming me. “You could always help you know.” “Yeah right. I think your friends have confiscated every square inch of that house and claimed it as their own. Hell the room I use is even converted into a play room,” she laughed. I try not to laugh, but I can’t help it. She’s right. I guess I’m glad that she hasn’t been over to stay a couple of nights with us lately. If she had, then we would definitely been shit up a creek. Kelly had claimed the room that Gus and Molly are staying in as her own, since she often needs a break away from her roommate and Justin and I let her stay here. “Well they will all be gone soon, and you’ll have to come over to help us get the place back to normal,” I tell her. “Oh I see how it is,” she looks over at me. “You only want to use me for a house cleaner. Well let me tell you something, big man, I don’t think so,” she says with a smile. “You’re on your own on this one. You wanted them to come.. you clean up the mess.” “Thanks for nothing,” I say as I snuff out the remainder of my cigarette. “Dinner should be ready soon.” I head back into the house and make my way over to Mikey. I might as well get this shit over with. ********** With everything on the table, and our friends gathered around, I finally allow myself to relax a little. I glance around and take note of everyone who has touched Justin and my life. Our friends both from Pittsburgh and here in Atlanta all gathered around, talking, eating, and just enjoying being together. Family. That’s what this is. Never before in my life had I felt this way.. like I’m actually a part of a family. Well with the exception of Justin that is. I look over at Justin and he smiles brightly at me. I realize that all the shit that we have gone through, all the shit that we will go through, is just that.. shit. We’re together. A hell of a lot longer than either one of us would’ve thought possible, but we are together. We survived, and we will continue to do so. I reach for his hand and take it in my own. We both turn to look back over the group that has gathered and I know that Justin feels the same way I do. That no matter what the world throws at us, we’ll get through it. We’ll get through it because we have people who will help us through it, and make sure that we make it. Cause that’s what family is all about. ******** Sorry so short, but I had a writers block.. a lot of the things that are stated here will be covered in the sequel.. Just a little taste of the good ol’ gang in Atl..